Reflection...

Well since my last posting I have turned 39! Its put me in a reflective mood and I can honestly say I am happy with the way my life is going right now. Im just loving what I am involved in and eager to achieve all the things I have planned for myself. Its kinda spiritually uplifting when you allow yourself time to reflect - even if youre not in an entirely good place, its really is just good medicine for the soul.

As for Lillie, she is very content - if I was given £1 for every time she makes me smile throughout the day; I would be a millionairess! Even as I am blogging this very moment, she is constantly humming away behind me while she creates a drum kit/drum sticks using empty yogurt pots, empty cardboard boxes and chop sticks! There is nothing richer than seeing your child's happiness, their zest for life and more importantly their freedom remaining completely whole. I firmly believe the latter comes down to being home educated. Of course I would still do all that I do with Lillie if she was in school, but there is no way she would be as free as she is now. I guess there is only one regret I have with regards to home educating - that I didnt with Louis.

However, I cannot allow myself to ponder too much on that thought because I wasnt informed all those years ago. Plus, my living with some negative influences at the start of Louis' primary school years may have prohibited me to even consider HE. Therefore, I will never know whether school was/wasnt the better option for him. But what I do know is that Louis and I have a fantastic relationship. Seeing him live his life as he does makes me feel very proud of the man he has grown into. Of course there are times when I am concerned about some of the choices he makes and/or whether he has a sufficient amount of freedom. But, I do not have any entitlement to ever try to dissuade his choices and/or attempt to alter his way of thinking. I just have to and want to be there for him, share my thoughts and experience with him. Anything more without his asking would make me the same as 'those' people that I feel at times, have tried to 'tell' him whether it stems from being in school or not. Afterall, we all have the right to live and learn for ourselves and to get through this cycle of what we know as 'life' as freely and independently as we want and can.